after taking the kids to school came home to sleep for an hour, actually slept for two. with bandit by my side. my mind went to its usual state- wild. my lack of sleep affects my dreams and to find that state of rest opens the portal.
dreams of picking up the kids from school early and bringing them to mary & angie's home to find it filled with kids and adults, a sort of day care party, parents drinking beer at 10 in the morning while they chat with fellow parents. the children joined the festivities, i stay aside. in a few minutes i gather my children to get them back to school only to find that children are being released for the day. as im going through the crowd slowly i come to a stop. a lady hair is blowing near my face and before my thought is over that it seems as my sisters hair, she turns. yes, it is my almonds. with her sunshades and her beautiful smile, telling me she came to pick the kids up.
at some other point i dream i'm somewhere, walking or standing, just somewhere; something about a girl. she doesnt belong here. her mother is a bit angry and tells me she has to go to houston. i reply by letting her know i'm from there. i'm sitting in a back row of a plane chit chatting with a female, not sure if it is the same lady or not. the plane starts going and i begin to freak out. yelling to stop the plane, that i'm not supposed to go to back. i didnt even have a boarding pass or was checked for anything, no clothes packed even. a lady in the front get iritated, stands up, asks who's making all the noise. i yell to her its me. she walks up. alas, my lover is sitting next to me. we're holding hands. the lady's mood changes. asks us about us. we're smiling, speaking. she asks him his age, she guesses he's 28, we giggle and he says thank you but he's actually a little older. she gives me a ring. small and simple yet quite pretty. silver ring which ends dont meet but split to go around holding a pearl. i goes on my right ring finger.
all of a sudden my lover and i are no longer on the plane but we're driving up a freeway, almost speeding. look to my left coming up to some sort of investigation. i see my glasses thrown on the floor, with one of the handles broken off. there was something else of mine which at this point i cant remember. i told him we needed to go back there, for some reason my stuff was there; whatever had occured.
another dream- in some type of store or office, it's my first day there. it looks familiar, i've been there before. yet, i feel uneasy, solem. i speak with a man, he explains to me what it was and i remember. he's one of the richest guys there, he's a pusher, in sales that is. i sit at a table, another sits with me. i have a bowl of cereal in front of me but need to get up for something in my locker. another new girl joins me, we see a room. we wander in wondering what it is. it turns out just to be a boys locker room. but the colors of the walls are painted nice shades of oranges. we start back to the table when i noticed my cereal is spilled over to the floor. an older lady nagging and complaining. i explain to her that i didnt make the mess but she refuses to listen. she's telling me something but i cant understand the meaning. i'm surrounded by white cloth it's moving around rapidly, some what scary, she's creating it. i'm hearing music in the background, its faint. all of a sudden i see my lover's face smiling above me as if he's been hiding behind me. and says something like ' i'll always be with you'. i wake up almost crying and short of breath.
10.08.2008
8.17.2008
The Interview
so how's your day been so far? ok, ive been sleeping all morning cuz i cant sleep at night, i have trouble sleeping, not sure if its stress related or health related maybe too much on my mind or maybe not doing enough during my days....
oh...well, lets get started. tell me about yourself? well, what do you want to know?
anything. ooookay..well lets see, i'm self diagnosed borderline bipolar, i dont like people fucking with me, i dislike sarcasm, i dispise dishonesty, stupid people annoy the shit out of me, i do believe in conspiracies, i do believe in the occult, rich people need to give up a lot of their money cuz ya know, a game of football or a t.v. series really isnt worth that much fucking money.... what else... oh, i love dancing, i love food, but not crap food cuz its so not good for you, you'll end up looking like a washup walrus or some crap like that. liquor? yes i love it, but no im not an alcoholic but yes, i can probably drink you under the table. what else? sex fiend, possibly, i know my mind is dirty enough but of my own, not trying to make people laugh or be offended on purpose. hmm...well, i do maintain a family and friends and those we may call aquaintances but of course always looking for new ones, seeing as how the majority of mine are back hometown. as for something directly work related, how about this, go do something!
hmm..well, tell me, what can you bring to the table? i wont take your crap or anyone elses crap, that's for sure, i'll come in, do my work, and get the fuck out. i'm slightly anal. i like to do things the way they work for me, but i'm willing to compromise on situations. i dont like lazy fucks so i hope the team you have already doesnt stand around idle. i dont like gossip or drama so if you have team members that thrive for type of shit, i will gladly and openly A-ignore them B-tell them to shut the fuck up!
i see, so, where do you see yourself in 5 years? Not fucking here, that's for sure! the only reason i'm sitting here with you is cuz there was a slight kink im my original plan, yes i did have plan b but plan b eventually brought me here. ah well.
so why do you think you're the right candidate for this position? haven't you been listening to a fucking word i've said?! haven't you read my freaking resume?! its all there in black and white and everything i've said to you is in plain english. sorry if i dont impress you with fake smiles and well recited verses. asshole.
ok great, well, i'll set up a second (or third) interview and call you with the date and time. ahh fucking geez, is every decision here gonna take this long!? what happened to having the power to make an executive decision?! alright, peace negro, i'm moving on.
oh...well, lets get started. tell me about yourself? well, what do you want to know?
anything. ooookay..well lets see, i'm self diagnosed borderline bipolar, i dont like people fucking with me, i dislike sarcasm, i dispise dishonesty, stupid people annoy the shit out of me, i do believe in conspiracies, i do believe in the occult, rich people need to give up a lot of their money cuz ya know, a game of football or a t.v. series really isnt worth that much fucking money.... what else... oh, i love dancing, i love food, but not crap food cuz its so not good for you, you'll end up looking like a washup walrus or some crap like that. liquor? yes i love it, but no im not an alcoholic but yes, i can probably drink you under the table. what else? sex fiend, possibly, i know my mind is dirty enough but of my own, not trying to make people laugh or be offended on purpose. hmm...well, i do maintain a family and friends and those we may call aquaintances but of course always looking for new ones, seeing as how the majority of mine are back hometown. as for something directly work related, how about this, go do something!
hmm..well, tell me, what can you bring to the table? i wont take your crap or anyone elses crap, that's for sure, i'll come in, do my work, and get the fuck out. i'm slightly anal. i like to do things the way they work for me, but i'm willing to compromise on situations. i dont like lazy fucks so i hope the team you have already doesnt stand around idle. i dont like gossip or drama so if you have team members that thrive for type of shit, i will gladly and openly A-ignore them B-tell them to shut the fuck up!
i see, so, where do you see yourself in 5 years? Not fucking here, that's for sure! the only reason i'm sitting here with you is cuz there was a slight kink im my original plan, yes i did have plan b but plan b eventually brought me here. ah well.
so why do you think you're the right candidate for this position? haven't you been listening to a fucking word i've said?! haven't you read my freaking resume?! its all there in black and white and everything i've said to you is in plain english. sorry if i dont impress you with fake smiles and well recited verses. asshole.
ok great, well, i'll set up a second (or third) interview and call you with the date and time. ahh fucking geez, is every decision here gonna take this long!? what happened to having the power to make an executive decision?! alright, peace negro, i'm moving on.
6.20.2008
the Revolution will not be Televised
or at least that's how the slogan goes
but with analog going bye bye; which by the way, who was the higher power that made this definitive, absolute decision? and with all the new technology, smart phones, cameras EVERYWHERE and accessible to everyone...
i think the revolution will be televised; and pod cast, and you tubed and archieved into hundreds upon hundreds of floating files. and it could become a conspiracy that no one is really sure of how credible it really is. at least, for those who are actually interested in such events and thoughts and discussions. and all of it so fragile as to hit a single button- delete.
but with analog going bye bye; which by the way, who was the higher power that made this definitive, absolute decision? and with all the new technology, smart phones, cameras EVERYWHERE and accessible to everyone...
i think the revolution will be televised; and pod cast, and you tubed and archieved into hundreds upon hundreds of floating files. and it could become a conspiracy that no one is really sure of how credible it really is. at least, for those who are actually interested in such events and thoughts and discussions. and all of it so fragile as to hit a single button- delete.
6.06.2008
About Love via Text
Saving the words my Lover writes to me.
it's been a lot to save and then type out word for word. plus smiles and dots and dashes ...
so i think from now on, i'll pick and choose which to write and which to not.
but it's been a fantastic voyage that just continues.
it's been a lot to save and then type out word for word. plus smiles and dots and dashes ...
so i think from now on, i'll pick and choose which to write and which to not.
but it's been a fantastic voyage that just continues.
5.31.2008
Love via Text (v)
March 2008
JUNGLE MOUSE!!
stuck like glue to the creases in my mind. youre in everything i do and see my Love. from the sound of the jets flying over to the trickling of water in the shower
yes yes yes every crease every nook n crannie n valley n rise. every drop of liquid and ray of light that touches my skin
...custom made...i told my mom that last night...she says she wishes she couldve spend more time with you. she like you jo...and that makes me dream..
alicia song is on right now..teary eyed in car amor. reliving that drive through LAX
came in the office after talking to you and what do i hear? friggin alicia song..again amor. this is our song i guess. and so fitting
i had a lil dream of us having fun under the pier at seal beach. we had our little blanket wrapped around us..we were standing up...our feet were wet
youre smoking hot first thing in the morning, fresh from sleep. i look forward to many many morning with you baby.. just thinking of that lil bit of awesomeness
aside from the beauty n love n sexiness n all that stuff...i think youre a really fuckin cool person jo. i really really like you girl. ...and that matters.
sometimes when i'm at work i find myself daydreaming about you..and my two co workers are like "hellooo aj yea you" and they laugh at me.. you make me zone..
you know...i really look forward to taking lil khepri under my wing and having him around me. i mean, i dont mean to take anything from his father and i dont wanna make you uncomfortable either amor, but im excited about having a lil boy you know. i'm gonna treat him the best i know how jo. with just as much love n attention and boy to boy stuff that a father would give his son. our family is gonna be awesome. i love you sweetheart. we are one.
you too my love. when youre here i cant wait to spend my lunches with you.sitting at the park munching on healthy goodness with my Lover...puppy huh?
Amor, you know. spending time with marz is making me appreciate the relationship you and i have even more. i love you so much woman. my unagi. miss you love.
PLLEEAASE AMOR! im respecting you and your feelings and im gonna let you have time to make your decision. i just want you to know that our moments together are no tricks, no jokes. we have big dreams and big plans and big wishes to make true for our little ones Amor. i chose you for a reason. you chose me for a reason. focus on those reasons baby. focus on those good solid tangible reasons that you know are real because youve seen them and touched them. dont focus on the worries and thoughts that go thru your head. i'm real amor and my love for you is very very real. im not going to bother you. im gonna give you your space. i guess ill know your decision when i hear from you..or dont hear from you. unagi..im yours completly. please keep me always dont push me away. we belong together. you still feel it inside...i hope.
sleep well my love..oh how you torture me..i cant stay away.
i do know whats right n wrong love. i know that the way our lives are lining up in the future is the most right thing ive ever had the chance to take part in. knowing you and your babies and bringing them into my family is a blessing jo. i love you guys baby. were gonna drive our metro bus together until theyre old enough to drive themselves around. lots ahead of us mouse. all smiles. 8 little feet running around. i love you always. every second.
awake my love. imaging the paint is my love and these walls are your life.. and how i want to cover you completly with everything i have to give...creating something so new and so fucking beautiful everybody who sees it understands why we've waited so long to be together..i'm so warm right now
wear your red sweater amor. wear it proud. my essence lives in it. :) kiss those kids and tell em i miss em. hope everything goes well today. stay smiling love.
IM THE CHEESE DAMMIT!
K.im about ready to stop painting. just waiting for your word my Love. let me know. kiss the lil Sashi for me.
day dreaming of you miss mouse. ...the evil nurse pic is still one of my favorites mama. you look fucking wicked delicious.
I LOVE YOU DAMMIT! my mouse! my cheese! my heart! my woman! yessshhh
wow. you need to send me and email with just you speaking like that. hot unbridled passionate hunger that makes me sweat just reading it. i love you dreamgirl
yes my love. that and all the deeper inner most perverse and crazy fantasies you have..i want to fulfill them all
I LOVE YOU.
i'm picturing your fit suculent legs wrapped tightly around me...beads of sweat forming on your breasts n stomach as i push my hard dick deep inside of you.
youre mine..im yours..and i love you
happy ishtar amor. just waking up here. got 4 kids on my computer playing games and laughing. morning madness.. im getting a preview of it :)
next year we'll have 4 lil ones with insane sugar rushes right about now..and you going crazy with your peeps :) te amo corazon
yes love. miles only represent distance if you allow them to. to me its more important to be close mind to mind and heart to heart. and that what we're doing. body to body closeness comes later.. but soon. were doing things in the right order princesa. im excited to be part of this. i love you. :)
im missing you more than usual this morning. maybe its cold air and gloomy clouds. i watched our videos last night..and that one thing that really stuck in my mind was not the act of lovemaking, but the affection. your hands on my body. my kisses on yours. i miss you jo. i love you. I AM YOURS.
god i cant stop thinking about you and how wonderful our future will be. i know its late and youre sleeping and im sorry if i wake you amor. but i love you too much to not express it right now. im full and overflowing with passion for you right now. my queen. my love. my One. xoxox
im sitting here learning about areas of programming and software . but all i can think of is exploring the most sensitive areas of your body. when next i see you i'm gonna go down on you...licking your pussy til youre completly satisfied and exhausted. i crave the taste of your juices Amor. I thirst.
My love. when i think of you i hear a melody in my head. ...makes my body sway. i'm so in love it makes me hear music. see what you do? you make my mind flutter
JUNGLE MOUSE!!
stuck like glue to the creases in my mind. youre in everything i do and see my Love. from the sound of the jets flying over to the trickling of water in the shower
yes yes yes every crease every nook n crannie n valley n rise. every drop of liquid and ray of light that touches my skin
...custom made...i told my mom that last night...she says she wishes she couldve spend more time with you. she like you jo...and that makes me dream..
alicia song is on right now..teary eyed in car amor. reliving that drive through LAX
came in the office after talking to you and what do i hear? friggin alicia song..again amor. this is our song i guess. and so fitting
i had a lil dream of us having fun under the pier at seal beach. we had our little blanket wrapped around us..we were standing up...our feet were wet
youre smoking hot first thing in the morning, fresh from sleep. i look forward to many many morning with you baby.. just thinking of that lil bit of awesomeness
aside from the beauty n love n sexiness n all that stuff...i think youre a really fuckin cool person jo. i really really like you girl. ...and that matters.
sometimes when i'm at work i find myself daydreaming about you..and my two co workers are like "hellooo aj yea you" and they laugh at me.. you make me zone..
you know...i really look forward to taking lil khepri under my wing and having him around me. i mean, i dont mean to take anything from his father and i dont wanna make you uncomfortable either amor, but im excited about having a lil boy you know. i'm gonna treat him the best i know how jo. with just as much love n attention and boy to boy stuff that a father would give his son. our family is gonna be awesome. i love you sweetheart. we are one.
you too my love. when youre here i cant wait to spend my lunches with you.sitting at the park munching on healthy goodness with my Lover...puppy huh?
Amor, you know. spending time with marz is making me appreciate the relationship you and i have even more. i love you so much woman. my unagi. miss you love.
PLLEEAASE AMOR! im respecting you and your feelings and im gonna let you have time to make your decision. i just want you to know that our moments together are no tricks, no jokes. we have big dreams and big plans and big wishes to make true for our little ones Amor. i chose you for a reason. you chose me for a reason. focus on those reasons baby. focus on those good solid tangible reasons that you know are real because youve seen them and touched them. dont focus on the worries and thoughts that go thru your head. i'm real amor and my love for you is very very real. im not going to bother you. im gonna give you your space. i guess ill know your decision when i hear from you..or dont hear from you. unagi..im yours completly. please keep me always dont push me away. we belong together. you still feel it inside...i hope.
sleep well my love..oh how you torture me..i cant stay away.
i do know whats right n wrong love. i know that the way our lives are lining up in the future is the most right thing ive ever had the chance to take part in. knowing you and your babies and bringing them into my family is a blessing jo. i love you guys baby. were gonna drive our metro bus together until theyre old enough to drive themselves around. lots ahead of us mouse. all smiles. 8 little feet running around. i love you always. every second.
awake my love. imaging the paint is my love and these walls are your life.. and how i want to cover you completly with everything i have to give...creating something so new and so fucking beautiful everybody who sees it understands why we've waited so long to be together..i'm so warm right now
wear your red sweater amor. wear it proud. my essence lives in it. :) kiss those kids and tell em i miss em. hope everything goes well today. stay smiling love.
IM THE CHEESE DAMMIT!
K.im about ready to stop painting. just waiting for your word my Love. let me know. kiss the lil Sashi for me.
day dreaming of you miss mouse. ...the evil nurse pic is still one of my favorites mama. you look fucking wicked delicious.
I LOVE YOU DAMMIT! my mouse! my cheese! my heart! my woman! yessshhh
wow. you need to send me and email with just you speaking like that. hot unbridled passionate hunger that makes me sweat just reading it. i love you dreamgirl
yes my love. that and all the deeper inner most perverse and crazy fantasies you have..i want to fulfill them all
I LOVE YOU.
i'm picturing your fit suculent legs wrapped tightly around me...beads of sweat forming on your breasts n stomach as i push my hard dick deep inside of you.
youre mine..im yours..and i love you
happy ishtar amor. just waking up here. got 4 kids on my computer playing games and laughing. morning madness.. im getting a preview of it :)
next year we'll have 4 lil ones with insane sugar rushes right about now..and you going crazy with your peeps :) te amo corazon
yes love. miles only represent distance if you allow them to. to me its more important to be close mind to mind and heart to heart. and that what we're doing. body to body closeness comes later.. but soon. were doing things in the right order princesa. im excited to be part of this. i love you. :)
im missing you more than usual this morning. maybe its cold air and gloomy clouds. i watched our videos last night..and that one thing that really stuck in my mind was not the act of lovemaking, but the affection. your hands on my body. my kisses on yours. i miss you jo. i love you. I AM YOURS.
god i cant stop thinking about you and how wonderful our future will be. i know its late and youre sleeping and im sorry if i wake you amor. but i love you too much to not express it right now. im full and overflowing with passion for you right now. my queen. my love. my One. xoxox
im sitting here learning about areas of programming and software . but all i can think of is exploring the most sensitive areas of your body. when next i see you i'm gonna go down on you...licking your pussy til youre completly satisfied and exhausted. i crave the taste of your juices Amor. I thirst.
My love. when i think of you i hear a melody in my head. ...makes my body sway. i'm so in love it makes me hear music. see what you do? you make my mind flutter
5.14.2008
Love via Text (IV)
February 2008
That makes two of us Jo. and to answer your question... tell me without saying it by simply showing me. the way you place your hand on my neck when were toghether shows me. the way you giggle when you call me a fool, the way you fun your hands up and down my body and suck on my neck when we make love shows me. the way you go down on me when i'm driving, the way you kiss me, the way you look at me Amor. your way period. i cant wait to see you again
theres my favorite belly button. mmmmmm. I wanna just rest my head on your stomach and holdon to you all night and love you. lick you. eat you. drink you.
you fuckin kick ass!! dude im the luckiest and most grateful man in the world right now. mmm that lil thing looks mighty tight baby.
yesh! i had fun too :) thank you miss mouse. i cant describe how you affect me. i practically salivate when i look at you. im so attracted in every way. crazy.
....youre the One Amor. you are. :)
kissing, touching, rubbing you, making love to you gently and slowly.. fucking you madly and wildly. my dick in your mouth , your pussy and yes in your ass...
from every angle in every position at all speeds and at all volumes. i dream of you and i. i crave you. my lips quiver and my tongue sweats thinking of you.
and you.. be prepared for the relentless deep penetration of my throbbing 9inch weapon. its gonna be absolute carnage.
thank you amor. there are times when i need to hear those words from you out of the blue..they feel more powerful than usual. right now is one of those times
you made my day. talking to you is like a shot of adrenaline in the ass. i'm excited now. i need to upgrade my plan or get you on helio so we can talk for free (just an interception here, its now the last day of may and that still has not happened. ehem*cough cough*)
i'll soon be in all those places when were making love, face to face, kissing deeply, breathing each others breath thru the night. the weeks will fly amor. watch.
you spoil me amor. your love. the words you speak to me. the way you express your feelings to me. i feel every text. thank you Jo for making me feel.
thought about our words all night. "i wanna marry you..." kept me full of good thoughts and i love you miss josalyn
...dreams come true...
that makes two of us amor. i thought i was a goof for doing that. you really are the mirror image of me. and i love the way you cuss with no regard. brilliant!
a 6 person nap. 12 arms, 12 legs entangled in sleep. 6 individual minds living 1 single dream.
good moring lover. i look forward to the days when we eat breakfast together and get the kids ready for school and start our days. cant wait. te amo jo.
Amor. dont feel bad about the flights. i dont expect you to pay for every time were together. i'll gladly fly you out here. you and i are a unit remember? i look at our alien head picture everytime i pick up my phone and i see something more and more fantastic everytime. that picture represents something so powerful to me Amor. i love you so dearly. its crucial that we see each other. we'll make it happen amor . Ill book these today.
this whole experience with you. this growing together, this journey, this loving learning its so amazing . you mean so much to me that i know i could never truly express it. but i still try to show you. in the words i say and the way i touch and treat you. my One. my Only. good night Amor.
...soulmates...
i know this Unagi. my dreams of tomorrow include you. they always have...since before i even knew. happy valentines day corazon
i love your ears...
J C!!! do me a favor! smother me! i neeeeed to know you need me Jo! Please Amor! a breather? are you crazy? do YOU need one?
my love. i was out of balance until the instant you removed your sunglasses and our souls linked. YOU ARE my balance. please know this.
wheres Mrs Avalos?
MARRY ME NOW DAMMIT! HOOOOLY SHIT! Amor you look fukking incredible! wowee wow wow wowzers! im speechless and excited and turned on and and and...fuck dude...
i love you Jo J
im gonna spread your legs wide open...hold your hands down at your sides...and sink my tongue deep inside your pussy...sucking your clit and lips alll night.
stunt fuckin. how about this. we pull off the side of a desert road...put some safety vests on, and i bend you over the hood of the car and fuck you deeeply? (mmmm...this still looks like a yummy idea)
hahhahahha aww you poor thing amor. you have nooo idea. im gonna eat that pussy til its raw... (and yes he does...deliciousness)
insomnia. wondering where you are and what you dream of and what temperature your skin is at this very moment and if you smile in your sleep when you think of me
...you glow...
mousie...please call me when you land. te amo jo
That makes two of us Jo. and to answer your question... tell me without saying it by simply showing me. the way you place your hand on my neck when were toghether shows me. the way you giggle when you call me a fool, the way you fun your hands up and down my body and suck on my neck when we make love shows me. the way you go down on me when i'm driving, the way you kiss me, the way you look at me Amor. your way period. i cant wait to see you again
theres my favorite belly button. mmmmmm. I wanna just rest my head on your stomach and holdon to you all night and love you. lick you. eat you. drink you.
you fuckin kick ass!! dude im the luckiest and most grateful man in the world right now. mmm that lil thing looks mighty tight baby.
yesh! i had fun too :) thank you miss mouse. i cant describe how you affect me. i practically salivate when i look at you. im so attracted in every way. crazy.
....youre the One Amor. you are. :)
kissing, touching, rubbing you, making love to you gently and slowly.. fucking you madly and wildly. my dick in your mouth , your pussy and yes in your ass...
from every angle in every position at all speeds and at all volumes. i dream of you and i. i crave you. my lips quiver and my tongue sweats thinking of you.
and you.. be prepared for the relentless deep penetration of my throbbing 9inch weapon. its gonna be absolute carnage.
thank you amor. there are times when i need to hear those words from you out of the blue..they feel more powerful than usual. right now is one of those times
you made my day. talking to you is like a shot of adrenaline in the ass. i'm excited now. i need to upgrade my plan or get you on helio so we can talk for free (just an interception here, its now the last day of may and that still has not happened. ehem*cough cough*)
i'll soon be in all those places when were making love, face to face, kissing deeply, breathing each others breath thru the night. the weeks will fly amor. watch.
you spoil me amor. your love. the words you speak to me. the way you express your feelings to me. i feel every text. thank you Jo for making me feel.
thought about our words all night. "i wanna marry you..." kept me full of good thoughts and i love you miss josalyn
...dreams come true...
that makes two of us amor. i thought i was a goof for doing that. you really are the mirror image of me. and i love the way you cuss with no regard. brilliant!
a 6 person nap. 12 arms, 12 legs entangled in sleep. 6 individual minds living 1 single dream.
good moring lover. i look forward to the days when we eat breakfast together and get the kids ready for school and start our days. cant wait. te amo jo.
Amor. dont feel bad about the flights. i dont expect you to pay for every time were together. i'll gladly fly you out here. you and i are a unit remember? i look at our alien head picture everytime i pick up my phone and i see something more and more fantastic everytime. that picture represents something so powerful to me Amor. i love you so dearly. its crucial that we see each other. we'll make it happen amor . Ill book these today.
this whole experience with you. this growing together, this journey, this loving learning its so amazing . you mean so much to me that i know i could never truly express it. but i still try to show you. in the words i say and the way i touch and treat you. my One. my Only. good night Amor.
...soulmates...
i know this Unagi. my dreams of tomorrow include you. they always have...since before i even knew. happy valentines day corazon
i love your ears...
J C!!! do me a favor! smother me! i neeeeed to know you need me Jo! Please Amor! a breather? are you crazy? do YOU need one?
my love. i was out of balance until the instant you removed your sunglasses and our souls linked. YOU ARE my balance. please know this.
wheres Mrs Avalos?
MARRY ME NOW DAMMIT! HOOOOLY SHIT! Amor you look fukking incredible! wowee wow wow wowzers! im speechless and excited and turned on and and and...fuck dude...
i love you Jo J
im gonna spread your legs wide open...hold your hands down at your sides...and sink my tongue deep inside your pussy...sucking your clit and lips alll night.
stunt fuckin. how about this. we pull off the side of a desert road...put some safety vests on, and i bend you over the hood of the car and fuck you deeeply? (mmmm...this still looks like a yummy idea)
hahhahahha aww you poor thing amor. you have nooo idea. im gonna eat that pussy til its raw... (and yes he does...deliciousness)
insomnia. wondering where you are and what you dream of and what temperature your skin is at this very moment and if you smile in your sleep when you think of me
...you glow...
mousie...please call me when you land. te amo jo
Love via Text (III)
January 2008
Good morning dreamgirl. Im so lucky to have you not only in my dreams, but in my waking too. Sometimes i wake up at night and i feel you wrapped around me. Like during the night our souls slip away from our bodies and entwine somewhere secret. sometimes i wake to your scent and i know its impossible.
...i fuckin love you man...
i have so much respect for you miss mouse. for being the woman, the friend, the lover, the mother that you are. I truely love you. I know i've said it b4 but...
Im home safe Amor. 1030 in my warm house...mmmmmmmuah i love you princess. youre the most beautiful centaur i know baby
my sweet perfection. you bring warmth and light to me each morning before the sun comes up. thank you for your morning texts miss mouse. mmmmuah!
AWESOME! and i was gonna mention the two types of wood could represent growing together. entwining with each other to form an endless and yes, eternal circle :)
i felt the magic too amor. the first time i sw you in person i felt it. it was like a mind orgasm...what did you do to me miss mouse?
Good night my love. sleep well-dream strong. i love you so much. soon i'll hold you through your nights. xoxox
my god...you truly are amazing. so fucking insanely gorgeous baby. imiss you so much it hurts right now...:(
loving you miss mouse. always n forever.
my girl. thats what you are. youre precious to me pricesless. i hope the morning light kisses your face as gently as i would...te amo miss mouse
since i got here this morning..every where i go..everywhere i stop my truck.. this seagull has been following me. staring at me. he's giving me the eye.
YES!!!! thats what i want too my love! the stuff that they make of and write shakespearean plays about. my juliet..and i your romeo
well, except the dying at the end part
good morning beautiful . drive safe this morning. keep your head focused baby. try not to think too hard about the things that bother you. remember the secret
im sending you love and positive thoughts from all angles. i love you so much... feel like we didnt have nearly enough time this weekend. we'll fix that soon :)
i need you here with me to subside this trembling. so cold . when the winter is over and the summer is here i dont ever want to be cold again. i need you
...fell asleep during lunch..had small slices of dreams very similar to what you described. walking, hand in hand, all smiles...everythings gonna be fine amor
i vow to do everything i can to make you always happy amor. i love you goodnight
yesh yesh yesh always my love you have me (3.33.31am)
baby. dont look to far ahead. our dreams arent all up there in the far distance. they're right here with us as well. knowing you is a dream . so lets live our lives to the fullest and make this love all we ever wanted and dreamed true love could be. i love you so damn much josalyn. come to me
Lovely lady. let me drink you please. wont spill a drop, no, i promise you. lying under this spell you cast on me each moment...the more i love you
AMOR!!! i havent talked to you all day sugar buns. hahha. just wanted to say hi and thinking of you. yea. thats it. ok, you just called me wow!
i love talking to you :)
...just caught a wiff of your scent on the breeze as i walked out side into the sunlight. could it be youre thinking of me and traveled here for a split second?
i bet you look mouthwatering. ..fucking delicious. im so damn lucky to have you!! oh my goodness. i cant stop thinking of you and i and our happy family..
...living the lives we always wanted to live. happy, healthy, and forever in love. my future. i wanna grow old with you jo. yea? can we do that? :)
Amor, I love you :)
awww mamas, its written everywhere. i see something everyday it seems. i'm absolutely crazy for you and the universe is saying "its alright dude, be crazy!"
good morning my sweet confection of perfection. i'm gonna be holding you close in about 50 hours. my body is tingling thinking about it. mmmm the craving
dammit i love you so much. i m so wrapped up i you baby. look at me..texting you the second i hang up. im fucking crazy about you woman.
nopers. gonna listen to some music online for a lil bit. mr mouse is very excited
i just saw your plane!!!
i kept looking to my right and expecting you to be sitting in the passenger seat. you have a wild effect on me miss mouse. please call me when youre home
last night my bed was like ice. felt like i was sleeping in an igloo or somthin. everytime i would move the cold sheets would make me cringe. brrrrr i miss you amor. i had such a great time with you yet again. everyday i spend with you im entranced by you. fucking beautiful person you are. has nothing to do with me being phsysically attracted to you. its the connection i feel to you spiritually thats so hypnotic. amazing stuff. te amo.
if my memory serves me right...you were enveloped within the maddening clouds when i first caught glimpse of you... which explains why i too have gone mad.
...and i fucking love you for it. every bit.
stepped outside just now to find it raining...and i though to myself...aww its raining here just like in houston. me and my baby both have rain...big smile..then i looked up and kept walking and the next thing i know i'm falling down the steps on my butt. aww just like my baby! te amo
..thinking of you ..loving you ..missing the hell out of you
picture me tap dancing on the bed in the middle of the night.. with glowsticks strapped to my body..flailing wildly in the dark
and then just whenyoure all relaxed and enjoying the show i pounce on you..our naked bodies together..and i bile likc and suckle your body giggling
trying to hard to stay awake baby. do you have any idea how much i love you? my whole body is filled with love for you. even my lil pinky toe loves you
good morning miss mouse. what size bed do you think were gonna need to fit two adults and four little ones taking a nap? king? do they make anything bigger? :)
my goal is to keep you gasping amor. for as long as were toghether. i want to keep this love new and exciting. i fucking ador you to no end.
holding each other sitting on our branch...so newly in love walking the trail studying the plants, animals and little red bugs. i f ell so hard for you then
i love you my dearest. please dont forget it. i think of every day that passes as a step towards each other on our little path. one of these days were gonna be right there on top of each other. then the real journey can begin amor.
cold as needles in the air like rubbing grains of sand over your skin till its raw. i want you here! make me warm! you know i never feel the cold with you.
...i think youre beautiful when you sleep..magical..like a fairy..an evil one. i love you through all states of conciousness...forever my love, im yours.
Amor. i crave...toast with hot Josalyn spread. and a warm glass of Josalyn juice to wash it down. i can taste you . tickling my tongue as i lick you from the inside out. feeling your lips on mine.. and your cheeks on mine. making love to you with my mouth and hands..ebre unagi amor.
so amazing to me that night after night i can actually feel us growing closer together. even in just the way speak to each other and our choices of words and the comfort level between us and the things we choose to share with each other. yes. if you go crazy i ll still love you the same baby.
laying here awake with you. maybe you dont know it but you were just here. i was with you and we were togethe in many ways. i smell you on me. so strange.
got the job! :) yeeeee! (1.31.08)
Good morning dreamgirl. Im so lucky to have you not only in my dreams, but in my waking too. Sometimes i wake up at night and i feel you wrapped around me. Like during the night our souls slip away from our bodies and entwine somewhere secret. sometimes i wake to your scent and i know its impossible.
...i fuckin love you man...
i have so much respect for you miss mouse. for being the woman, the friend, the lover, the mother that you are. I truely love you. I know i've said it b4 but...
Im home safe Amor. 1030 in my warm house...mmmmmmmuah i love you princess. youre the most beautiful centaur i know baby
my sweet perfection. you bring warmth and light to me each morning before the sun comes up. thank you for your morning texts miss mouse. mmmmuah!
AWESOME! and i was gonna mention the two types of wood could represent growing together. entwining with each other to form an endless and yes, eternal circle :)
i felt the magic too amor. the first time i sw you in person i felt it. it was like a mind orgasm...what did you do to me miss mouse?
Good night my love. sleep well-dream strong. i love you so much. soon i'll hold you through your nights. xoxox
my god...you truly are amazing. so fucking insanely gorgeous baby. imiss you so much it hurts right now...:(
loving you miss mouse. always n forever.
my girl. thats what you are. youre precious to me pricesless. i hope the morning light kisses your face as gently as i would...te amo miss mouse
since i got here this morning..every where i go..everywhere i stop my truck.. this seagull has been following me. staring at me. he's giving me the eye.
YES!!!! thats what i want too my love! the stuff that they make of and write shakespearean plays about. my juliet..and i your romeo
well, except the dying at the end part
good morning beautiful . drive safe this morning. keep your head focused baby. try not to think too hard about the things that bother you. remember the secret
im sending you love and positive thoughts from all angles. i love you so much... feel like we didnt have nearly enough time this weekend. we'll fix that soon :)
i need you here with me to subside this trembling. so cold . when the winter is over and the summer is here i dont ever want to be cold again. i need you
...fell asleep during lunch..had small slices of dreams very similar to what you described. walking, hand in hand, all smiles...everythings gonna be fine amor
i vow to do everything i can to make you always happy amor. i love you goodnight
yesh yesh yesh always my love you have me (3.33.31am)
baby. dont look to far ahead. our dreams arent all up there in the far distance. they're right here with us as well. knowing you is a dream . so lets live our lives to the fullest and make this love all we ever wanted and dreamed true love could be. i love you so damn much josalyn. come to me
Lovely lady. let me drink you please. wont spill a drop, no, i promise you. lying under this spell you cast on me each moment...the more i love you
AMOR!!! i havent talked to you all day sugar buns. hahha. just wanted to say hi and thinking of you. yea. thats it. ok, you just called me wow!
i love talking to you :)
...just caught a wiff of your scent on the breeze as i walked out side into the sunlight. could it be youre thinking of me and traveled here for a split second?
i bet you look mouthwatering. ..fucking delicious. im so damn lucky to have you!! oh my goodness. i cant stop thinking of you and i and our happy family..
...living the lives we always wanted to live. happy, healthy, and forever in love. my future. i wanna grow old with you jo. yea? can we do that? :)
Amor, I love you :)
awww mamas, its written everywhere. i see something everyday it seems. i'm absolutely crazy for you and the universe is saying "its alright dude, be crazy!"
good morning my sweet confection of perfection. i'm gonna be holding you close in about 50 hours. my body is tingling thinking about it. mmmm the craving
dammit i love you so much. i m so wrapped up i you baby. look at me..texting you the second i hang up. im fucking crazy about you woman.
nopers. gonna listen to some music online for a lil bit. mr mouse is very excited
i just saw your plane!!!
i kept looking to my right and expecting you to be sitting in the passenger seat. you have a wild effect on me miss mouse. please call me when youre home
last night my bed was like ice. felt like i was sleeping in an igloo or somthin. everytime i would move the cold sheets would make me cringe. brrrrr i miss you amor. i had such a great time with you yet again. everyday i spend with you im entranced by you. fucking beautiful person you are. has nothing to do with me being phsysically attracted to you. its the connection i feel to you spiritually thats so hypnotic. amazing stuff. te amo.
if my memory serves me right...you were enveloped within the maddening clouds when i first caught glimpse of you... which explains why i too have gone mad.
...and i fucking love you for it. every bit.
stepped outside just now to find it raining...and i though to myself...aww its raining here just like in houston. me and my baby both have rain...big smile..then i looked up and kept walking and the next thing i know i'm falling down the steps on my butt. aww just like my baby! te amo
..thinking of you ..loving you ..missing the hell out of you
picture me tap dancing on the bed in the middle of the night.. with glowsticks strapped to my body..flailing wildly in the dark
and then just whenyoure all relaxed and enjoying the show i pounce on you..our naked bodies together..and i bile likc and suckle your body giggling
trying to hard to stay awake baby. do you have any idea how much i love you? my whole body is filled with love for you. even my lil pinky toe loves you
good morning miss mouse. what size bed do you think were gonna need to fit two adults and four little ones taking a nap? king? do they make anything bigger? :)
my goal is to keep you gasping amor. for as long as were toghether. i want to keep this love new and exciting. i fucking ador you to no end.
holding each other sitting on our branch...so newly in love walking the trail studying the plants, animals and little red bugs. i f ell so hard for you then
i love you my dearest. please dont forget it. i think of every day that passes as a step towards each other on our little path. one of these days were gonna be right there on top of each other. then the real journey can begin amor.
cold as needles in the air like rubbing grains of sand over your skin till its raw. i want you here! make me warm! you know i never feel the cold with you.
...i think youre beautiful when you sleep..magical..like a fairy..an evil one. i love you through all states of conciousness...forever my love, im yours.
Amor. i crave...toast with hot Josalyn spread. and a warm glass of Josalyn juice to wash it down. i can taste you . tickling my tongue as i lick you from the inside out. feeling your lips on mine.. and your cheeks on mine. making love to you with my mouth and hands..ebre unagi amor.
so amazing to me that night after night i can actually feel us growing closer together. even in just the way speak to each other and our choices of words and the comfort level between us and the things we choose to share with each other. yes. if you go crazy i ll still love you the same baby.
laying here awake with you. maybe you dont know it but you were just here. i was with you and we were togethe in many ways. i smell you on me. so strange.
got the job! :) yeeeee! (1.31.08)
5.04.2008
~
i know i want to be happy. sometimes i genuinely feel it. i know i want to smile more often, and laugh more often. when i do it comes out so loudly; almost obnoxiously; as if it build up was so long it exploded. my sun kissed dreams make me smile, even cry without wanting, the vivid scenery as if memories over fill me with joy.
and yet my eyes dwindle with weight of many years passed and not lived. the first few notes of low songs strike me as if i'm the instrument. knowing the notes of a more up beat tune but perfects the blues. my soul is sad and weary, carrying shackles of past lives living to become the wind or the stars...
and yet my eyes dwindle with weight of many years passed and not lived. the first few notes of low songs strike me as if i'm the instrument. knowing the notes of a more up beat tune but perfects the blues. my soul is sad and weary, carrying shackles of past lives living to become the wind or the stars...
4.13.2008
1st guys
1st person who made me conscious about my teeth not being perfectly straight: Paula
1st puppy love: Juan
1st person who told me i don't really look at people when i speak to them: Chris
1st person to tell me i'm not affectionate: Sam
1st person to tell me te quiero: Aiman
1st person to tell me i love you (romantically): Michael
1st guy to call me a fucking bitch: Michael
1 person who i was crazy/obssessed about: Jason
1st person who made me feel what a good realationship is supposed to be: John
#1 best one night: Ricky
1st person, after all the drama, ups and downs, made me realize i was ready for a relationship: Ricardo
(haha...no joke really intended 'ricky-ricardo')
1 man who i see and feel and touch forever with: Adrian. I love you in every way.
3.20.2008
it was a beautiful afternoon. sunny. cool air. light breeze. autumn is my favorite season of the year. however now is spring and its almost as lovely. spent the best hours with my sister and mother. now at the time when i need it the most. over lunch/dinner and drinks we spoke and laughed. connected. tales before told but in better detail of the life once lived. my father ruled over our city with his colombian drug cartel, or something of the sort. no wonder growing up everyone knew who my dad was..."oh you're Javier's daughter! yea i remember...." and so it would go. i always knew he was in that. but the details of the life were always blurry. speaking on mistakes made and killings done, deals gone right and wrong. i'm the daughter of a successful colombian drug dealer. a murdered drug king. and so it is.
i've never been persuaded to that end. world knows i've had my bit in snorting and swallowing substances of many sort. to deal though...nah...fuck that. especially now with lil beauties running about.
we were nice. left to liquor store to buy a bottle to take home. continued drinking. spoke to my lover. how much i do love him. its amazing. and here i am. with him in mind in soul in heart. and words to express. and tequila rose to ingest.
and how else can i express my deep desire of caress...its him it's me together to be we are now one continue holding heating loving bleeding..........
love me more
3.04.2008
i looked at the pictures on the wall. people i dont know. then i saw his face. aww so handsome. he's smiling looking off somewhere. oh he's in a tux. ohhhh... she's next to him. in her white dress. its a picture from their wedding. that's why he didnt want me to look at those pictures. it's ok, just part of his life.
i let the shower fall on my face the next morning to hide the tears.
funny how emotions work.
but he's mine now and for many tomorrows. we're so happy when we're together. just a few days at a time. once a month.
strange how emotions grow.
and my brother falling in love with a girl my lover used to date. i'm ok with it. he's happy and that's what matters. what i'm annoyed with is my lover not telling me. what does that mean in the picture.? the thought that keeps coming is what else has he not told me.?
anyhow. that's that.
unstable emotions.
i let the shower fall on my face the next morning to hide the tears.
funny how emotions work.
but he's mine now and for many tomorrows. we're so happy when we're together. just a few days at a time. once a month.
strange how emotions grow.
and my brother falling in love with a girl my lover used to date. i'm ok with it. he's happy and that's what matters. what i'm annoyed with is my lover not telling me. what does that mean in the picture.? the thought that keeps coming is what else has he not told me.?
anyhow. that's that.
unstable emotions.
2.25.2008
Love via Text (II)
December 2007:
i'm with you Josalyn. never doubt that im here 100% with you. AAAH!! DAMN BABY!! HURRY UP SUMMERTIME!!
Amor your page just made me very very emotional
i'm gonna strip you of your clothes.. and lay you gently on the bed..my hands will run over every inch of your body while my mouth kisses the insides of your thighs. mmmm my touching intensifies.. firmly massaging your breasts as you open your legs wider and wider.. you dig your nails into my shoulders as you pull your knees up against your chest and my tongue finds sanctuary deep inside your pussy. i lick and kiss and lick and probe and devour you into the night, driving orgasm after orgasm from your body.. i am the hunter.. you are my prey. you have 2 days to prepare for the feeding
there will be no mercy, Amor
i'm gonna look like i was painted on you by this tme tomorrow ...my love..im so excited. i think of the years to come and smile. i choose you miss mouse
i truly truly truly love you. i'm so very happy to be with you this weekend AMOR. this is awesome seeing you with your people. i love it.mmmuah! to pho!!!
on plane..in seat. all alone in the back. i wanna fly with you! lets go!
and you on mine my queen. headin to work right now...having C withdrawls!! CCC
seeing you interact with your children added another level of depth to my adoration of you....youre an amazing woman Josalyn. your lil ones are lucky :)
i miss looking at you... i miss your touch... your laughter.. your scent...your taste.. i miss the way you put your hand on my neck when you drive...madness
my queen. you have my word. god has woven you using the fabric of my dreams.
i want you here, in my enviornment, so bad. i want my people to see and know you. my woman, my love.
soon we'll have our movie nights together
wowww! i can stare at this pic all day! your pussy is beautiful! shoot every part of you is beautiful. send more! you make me fucking crazy baby
i can never hear it enough my love. i can never say it enough. i can never get enough of this feeling thats cookin inside me..its a tasty brew. SUPERHUMAN!
i was thinking about how you always seem to call right when im thinking about you and realized...there really is nothing special or coincidental about it all...because im ALWAYS THNKING ABOUT YOU!! it never stops! youre in my blood! youre part of me and there is no turning back dagnabbit! mmuah I LOVE YOU!
Yes Josalyn. i wanna be your smelly old man and i want you to be my smell old woman. and we can walk through the park and feed the pigeons and make out on benches
i wanna make love to you tenderly first thing in the morning, gently kissing every inch..and then get out for breakfast and enjoy the morning with our kids.
...then after some fun and giggles we all come home for a nap where you and i manage to sneak away for a good satisfying quickie and shower to hold our cravings. then that night, after dinner and a movie with our troop of lil ones.. i lay you down and brutalize your beautiful body...and fuck the living shit out of you
...and the next day ... again Amor... and the next day.. again.. I love You..Come Home.
baby, i dont want to only allow you to dream... i want to help you fulfill your dreams. im here for you. nothing is impossible.
im so so so much in love with you. right now, right this second im completely overwhelmed with your energy. i can feel you from here... this is crazy
everything here at work is wet...and the sun is bright and hot. so bright the glare that i can barely see anything else around me. makes me think of us.
I HAVENT TALKED TO YOU ALL DAY!!! >:( GGRRR
morning miss mouse :) sorry about last night baby i came home and just passed out. i dont even remember laying down. mustve needed the rest i guess.
tis true Amor. i think about them all the time and how i look forward to being part of their lives.
thinking of you my Love. imagining you with me.. against me..under me.. tightly around me...
wow!! i want YOU to strip for ME on MY birthday!!! oohhh yeaaah I FUCKIN LOVE YOU WOMAN! (sent11.11pm)
i want you for my everything Josalyn. I choose YOU.
Josalyn. i think youre gorgeous.
lonely baby. imagining you sprawled out in front of me...naked, writhing, wet...i love you beautiful.
im doing the same thing here. laying down looking at us. i do it every single morning actually. sounds funny but its my lil routine..and remember theres a couple of pics where im on top and youre on bottom ;)... need more of those..
i love you Josalyn J C. everything new i learn about you... everything.. i love you even more. youre amazing baby. custom made. i hope you feel the same
still awake. waves rolling thru my mind..like a vast ocean slowly rocking me to sleep. goodnight my sweet Love.
you just made me so warm inside. i do think of you my Love. everytime i look up. and i sing to myself.. go check your comments to hear what i sing
merry christmas my Love. im there with you. just close your eyes..feel me? im always with you- just as i know youre always with me. i love you so much baby
good morning my One and Only. im so full of love righ now. (and suuper horny) cant wait to have you here..to uh..express myself ;) I Love You Woman
til it bleeds...baby you ...you...youre fuckin intense and i love it. if i was a vampire id pick you to spend forever with. people are gonna trip on us.
...theyre gonna trip on us cuz our love is gonna be so intense, so brutal, so fuckin soft and yet so sharp. my dream girl..my mirror image in woman form
my amor, why must you torture me so. im craving you and your crooked voice to lift my eyes from this dusty pit of dispair..and remind me that heaven is near
never in my life have i been so captivated by a womans picture. i can stare at you forever it seems. you put a spell on me alright..because im yours.
when i say i choose you i mean i choose you to help me raise my children, and i choose to help you raise yours. Josalyn youre not losing me to anything or anybody. there too much to throw away. nobody has a chance taking this from me. this is the real deal. I choose You Amor. please know this.
you have me dizzy with worry this morning :(
you are my Nefertiti. my timeless love. my Queen.
you are baby, you are. i have no doubts in my mind. you were made for me Love. i want you for the rest of my life. Ride this wave with me..my lil unagi.
i miss your little bites. i wanna feel your teeth digging into my neck..your nails in to my back..your heels into my hips. i wanna loose myself deep in you..
Amor..will you please cover me with your bitemarks of passion when we next see eachother?
this mornings text was the best thing anybodys ever said to me Josalyn. to think i had my phone in my hand to send you my morning love...and i got this at that exact time...awesome. yes, i am your husband. you are my wife. its all in our minds Love. a piece of paper doesnt mean half of what we know.(sent at 1:11pm)
my mouth licking up every drop of juices...mixed with steaming hot water. that was so magical. were gonna have lots of moments like that...
dangit! tell me..why is that everytime i lay my head down at night or open my eyes in the morning and practically every second between i think of you? hmm? does it have something to do with that spell you said you put on me? whats the big idea huh? you do realize by diong that youre setting yourself up for a long life of love and laughter with a man thats gonna adore and worship you as a woman, a friend and lover right? are you sure about that?
C C... I Love You C C
you think? woman, i KNOW you are! who in their right minds would do this hm? oh wait..i know who. those who find REAL love. not that everyday stuff :)
this next year is our my Love. its our time. i love you so much. i cant stop thinking about us...(sent at 5:55pm)
Love via Text (I)
November 2007:
Thank you for coming into my life Amor. I love you too
YOu...are my future Amor.
my Love. How i adore you. my precious heaven-scent hell bent winged wonder. fly with me...Always (sent 1.11.03pm)
hahhaah you're awesome Jo. you drive me crazy! haywire! you give me little explosions in my belly and send ripples through my whole body and state of mind...
i'll stay yours always. please do the same Amor. i'm yours from 2000 miles away. nibble nibble
i want you here. under my arm. against my body. beneath these blankets. nose to nose. eye to eye. morning after morning. night after night. i love you Jo.
im here with you too. i'm completely twisted in love with you. i know youve seen my eyes tear up just staring at you on cam. its a big wave Amor.
only from a distance i guess. all i can promise you is once were together..this will be gone. i cry too. i know its not a weakness. its the strength of this love filling me to the breaking point. i love you. were gonna make it. youre gonna be mine. i'm gonna be yours. our lil ones will be happy.
youre the most amazing woman i've ever met. i told my mom that yesterday. i have so much respect for who you are and what you do.. just thought i d tell ya
i was raised and conditioned thru my life for you... raised by a strong mother.. so i recognize strength and desire to do right for her children. youre gonna have to thank my mama for makin me this way. she put a gentle heart in this boy. and now its yours dude. feel the wrath of my Love grrr.
I'm all yours JC . every bit
precious. beautiful, wondrous, magical mysterious woman...how i do Love You.
got my morning cup of jo but its not the same as yoooouu...baybaaaayyeeaaah wooo-hooo! Amor im so happy to be alive today. reading your email made me sad but at the same time it told me 'youre not alone dude...this girl is side by side with you" Amor i love you. lets use the buddy system.
i'm not going anywhere either Amor. im yours. fuckin a. i'm all yours. your toxic...in my blood Jo. my alien headed beauty. i want to be with you on new year.
i wanna grow old with you mouse. im so thankful for all the joy youve already brought to my life and its only the beginning. i wanna be that couple.. still as much in love with each other as the days of their youth... i have old corny love songs running through my head cuz of you...
...we're not bad people..we deserve to be happy right? when i read your comment a few hours ago 20 years you made me shudder. im very much in love with you Jo.
when you move here i'm prepared to make changes in my life. like get rid of my car. i had no intentions on meeting my true love Josalyn. but now that youre here.. i know i have more important things i need to focus on. i want us all the be happy i want to make this the best i possibly can
and yea im sending you another long text message just cuz i gotta crush on you and am infatuated and am sprung on you and am awestruck by you and cuz i fucking love you and respect you and honor you and cuz just thinking about you makes me smile like a teenager and cuz i have a feeling you feel the same
as crazy as this sounds.. mmm i love licking your... rump. your...female parts.. all of them Amor. i wanna please you for hours when i see you next. yummy
yessss. mi amor. i wanna lick lick lick...little circles around your most sensitive areas. and nibble so gently until i feel your body tremble and you buck like a wild animal... then im gonna lay you on your hands and knees and mmm im gonna..mmmm im gonna knock on your door. can i come inside?
baby silly question .. but what do you want me to call 'it'? ... you down there. i dont dare say anything to offend you my love.
I FUCKING LOVE YOU GIRL. YOU are the perfect woman ... for ME. fuck everybody else man. youre mine.
hahhaha just the fact that youre real and youre not all fragile and like omg i cant believe you used that word . youre a real woman not a pampered princess.
but i AM gonna pamper you princess. and id never disrespect you Amor. mmmuah this is awesome.
im watching the trains roll by..temped to jump one of these things n hope it takes me east texas..baby i wish i could move to you and restart my life. i would com to you if i didnt have my seedlings here. just get out of cali and live a new life in a new place. someday Love. to Ebro.
i wish i could express just how grateful i am to know you. never mind the fact that youre my lover. just the fact that i know you and youre a fantastic woman is enough to be thankful for. youre a beautiful person Amor. everyday i'm even more fascinated by you. love sex and madness
Nachos and beer and a movie and my lil mouse. that the perfect evening. and after..some good old fashioned lovin from my one and only. that my heaven.
oh yea? well im in love with JC. a supermodel to the world.. a super hero to me
were barely getting started my love. hopefully you never tire of my ways. i love you miss mouse
2.12.2008
...
times at night when i can't sleep and everyone else in the house is passed out and i know my body should really have it's rest; the thoughts in my mind go in every direction. meditation is something i should practice. it's starting to worry me that i might end up in my 40's and 50's still living from check to check. i don't want that. why didn't i strive for more? where's my focus? been working since i was 16 and where's my safety nest of money? right, it doesn't exist. working more than one job has a positive and a not so positive. it's sad to hear people say "i have to do what i have to do" just to pay bills, just to feed their children, just to make it through... i don't ever stress out too much; bills will never go away, and i wont ever let my children go hungry or be without good clothes and shoes. because yes, they are more important than me. but i want to do something greater. always.
the actual feeling of long weeks without my lover. knowing he's out there. the absence of his smell on me. his stubble against my cheek. and who would think this would happen. those eyes so big and wonderous looking back at me. what perfect script this is. which gods are responsible for this growing love...desire...anticipation...flowing slowly with the river enjoying the views knowing someday the ocean we'll reach.
the actual feeling of long weeks without my lover. knowing he's out there. the absence of his smell on me. his stubble against my cheek. and who would think this would happen. those eyes so big and wonderous looking back at me. what perfect script this is. which gods are responsible for this growing love...desire...anticipation...flowing slowly with the river enjoying the views knowing someday the ocean we'll reach.
2.11.2008
flight, money, dreams
http://photowebs.blogspot.com/ these are wonderful! especially the shadow/reflection pics
i made a blog page, will write, read description, so i'll have things of my past because hey, i've come to terms and peace with it all. but just fyi, future use.
and my bank account is overdrawn. again. the purchase of clothes i made for the kids two weeks ago just now came through before i made my car payment. ahh well. if you can buy the tickets that would be great, it'd be about 180 with taxes. if not, i'll see how much the tickets are when i get paid again.
i've been looking for jobs online so hopefully something good will come up soon. and tomorrow i'll venture out. i just couldn't keep going to that place! and i'm happy to say that my weird, wacky dreams have come back to me since i've left :)
my dream last night-what i can remember of it now ... there was an ice man, he would go around freezing people. he came into the house and the kids were playing in my mom's room, i told them to get in the closet to hide. i close the bedroom door but he saw me. holding the door shut the ice cold started to penetrate the door so i had to let go. he did some kind of gesture or movement that was sexual so i asked him if that was the reason for all the mess..he said yes. so i left with him in order to save the kids and save the rest of the world from being frozen. along our path we saw a girl sitting on a bench by herself curled up. he happened to know she was a half vampire. she walked with us. somehow our powers merged. he could fly, i could make things cold, etc. thats all i remember. hahaha. i know there was something else...
ok dear, hope to hear from you very soon, you should be off from work now. Love you always.
i made a blog page, will write, read description, so i'll have things of my past because hey, i've come to terms and peace with it all. but just fyi, future use.
and my bank account is overdrawn. again. the purchase of clothes i made for the kids two weeks ago just now came through before i made my car payment. ahh well. if you can buy the tickets that would be great, it'd be about 180 with taxes. if not, i'll see how much the tickets are when i get paid again.
i've been looking for jobs online so hopefully something good will come up soon. and tomorrow i'll venture out. i just couldn't keep going to that place! and i'm happy to say that my weird, wacky dreams have come back to me since i've left :)
my dream last night-what i can remember of it now ... there was an ice man, he would go around freezing people. he came into the house and the kids were playing in my mom's room, i told them to get in the closet to hide. i close the bedroom door but he saw me. holding the door shut the ice cold started to penetrate the door so i had to let go. he did some kind of gesture or movement that was sexual so i asked him if that was the reason for all the mess..he said yes. so i left with him in order to save the kids and save the rest of the world from being frozen. along our path we saw a girl sitting on a bench by herself curled up. he happened to know she was a half vampire. she walked with us. somehow our powers merged. he could fly, i could make things cold, etc. thats all i remember. hahaha. i know there was something else...
ok dear, hope to hear from you very soon, you should be off from work now. Love you always.
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